What About Bob?

by Tom Pappas

When I was climbing up the front range of this adventure we call our lifetime, I remember several points where changes were imminent; and I clearly recall saying, “Change is invigorating.” A household move, a change of teaching assignment, the birth of a child, each brought new opportunities and challenges decorated with a sense of adventure.

I am solidly on the back range and sometimes I feel like the “decoration of adventure” is better described as residue. And what I write today isn’t just about me; I am especially hurting for my friend, Bob.

I am one of those graybeards at the big table in the coffee shop that are waiting for tee times or PT appointments that meet for a cuppa once each week. We worship at the same church so we have that among other topics on which to impart wisdom.

Bob is the oldest of our group and most educated. He is dignified and polite. Bob is clever and funny, if you’re smart enough for his wit. He is full of pertinent stories and insights and we all benefit when he talks. Bob is hard to hear because he is becoming frail, his voice is naturally soft, and the barista staff conspires and waits to make their loudest grinding and swooshing noises until they see us leaning in to hear him.

Bob is diagnosed with Parkinson’s. Rarely is it an inconvenience to him or us. But last week it was an issue. 

Bob lives less than a mile from our coffee rendezvous. He drove last week and came in with his cane, fairly bent over and terribly wobbly. During our hour together his physical control deteriorated. Some of us helped him home, of course.

Today Bob spoke to us about gratitude and the importance of friendships. He talked about making decisions about his future and independence that he didn’t want to encounter so soon. It was our concern for his and others’ safety that brought forward as his number one agenda item.

This good man is further down the back range than I am, and he makes a fine example of dealing with change. Being a person of faith, I see Bob being mindful of God’s companionship as he weighs his options. It’s a different way to define invigoration.

As a tribute to Bob, it is my intent to put down the front-range equipment that God gave me to navigate the first half and trust God to show me new tools for the rest of the way. Now, that’s kind of invigorating.