I like the idea of religion, of believing that there is a
God and that this God was revealed to us in the life of Jesus. I further like
the idea of church, of being in the community of those who want to believe,
want to live as if it’s all true and who want to be conformed to the image of
Jesus in and through our lives. More days than not, I lean into this faith and
it gives me a sense of joy, comfort and purpose.
But then there are other days when I wake up from this hope
and I wonder, how can any of this possibly be true? Is Jesus, God? And is he
the full and total reflection of both who God is and all that he is? Isn’t there
a kind of arrogance in all of this – us Christians thinking, believing and
acting as if we ‘know’ God, that he is ‘Our God’?
If I let my mind wander on this path for long, a sense of
dread and depression starts coming into my mind, my heart – my soul. Imagining
my life without this belief that Jesus is real leaves me feeling abandoned and
alone and, for the most part without much purpose to my life.
And like Peter my answer is, but Lord, to whom else can I go
– your words have the authority of life, God and eternity. Indeed, where else
can I go to find the ring of authentic living – of having a life call or
purpose that is big enough to capture my mind, my heart, my soul and my
talents, but small enough to be attainable and real, allowing me to become more
fully me – the way God imagines me to be.
Fortunately, God’s steadfast love continues to reach out to
us drawing us into his love and into his quiet but certain call on our lives.
Leaning back into that gentle call, even in the light of our own doubts gives
meaning and purpose to our lives and unites us with God and his community of
fellow ‘leaners’. Thanks be to God for his steady love that reaches out and
gently draws us in.
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